Taking my talents to...

Tumblr... check me out.

http://shoequeenash.tumblr.com/


Oh yeah and..

http://pinterest.com/shoequeenash/

Spring Has Sprung

So happy it is spring!!  It has been a long cold winter.  The best part of the new season?  No, it's not the blooming trees or open windows... it's the shirtless wonderboys running outside in the sunshine.  I could set up a chair, glass of wine in hand and watch all day.  Ok Ok... call me a hopeless single girl, but wow.  Truth?  I could never be with a man who thought he was prettier than me but it is still fun to look haha.

Moving along, I'm starting to think the saying, "Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped" is true.  Maybe they are all hibernating this winter?  It seems like every guy I have met recently is either completely vain, a complete loser, or went in for a very unwanted kiss.  Ugh.  Awkward.

I need a new place to find guys.  I'm too chicken to talk to the cute guy in the grocery store.  My part time job only brings in gorgeous gay men or married men and snotty old ladies.  And everyone I hang out with is married with more married friends.  For some reason, I seem to have lost all of my confidence when it comes to dating.  Maybe it's history or just a string of bad luck, either way I need to get my 'groove' back.  Not to mention, I'm still convinced there is no one in this city for me.

My friends always say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but here is how I see it:

50% of those fish are girls.  30% are over 18 years old and 15% are under 10 years old.  Which leaves 5% of the population.  2% of the remaining fish are taken and we haven not even gotten into the personalities of 'said' fish, what the fish look like and what we have in common.  My odds aren't looking so great!  HAHA

I've had a lot of time to think about past relationships lately.  What went wrong?  What could I have done different?  Maybe it just wasn't meant to be?  How many cliches can I mention in this post?  How can I love and hate someone so much?  Sometimes I think I am just not ready to move on.  But do people really change?  Do the good times outweigh the bad?  I don't know.  I wish there was a manual.

Bottom line, never make someone a priority when you are just their option.

I'm hoping that the changing of the season will bring some new changes in my life.  New job (hopefully), new friends (I still love my current ones), and fingers crossed, a fresh start.  Good things come to those who wait, right?  ;)  On that note... peace out winter.  Hello sunshine, I've been waiting patiently!

Is this real life?

Hello 2012.  New year, new start, new results.  Let's hope.... 

The holidays were kind of rough this year.  Break up still fresh, 5 friends have babies within a couple of weeks of each other, no leads on a new career.  I felt bad for my family... this outgoing, life of the party girl was pretty quiet.  I try to always remain positive and make the best of situations, so I joke and stay busy.  But I really could use a little luck sent my way.

New Year's Eve was survived by the goodness of pear martini's and cute bartenders.  Now if only we could forget about the terrible allergic reaction I had to the lilies in the bathroom, the greasy old men across the bar fixated on my chest, the passed out friend and the midnight kiss whose name will be withheld.  The one good thing to come out of it all, is that a friend decided to set me up with a guy he knows. (Sounds familiar, right?)

Boy was that a bad decision.  Oh just wait.  Just from the texts alone, I should have known this was not going to have the end result I wanted.  I'm pretty sure his middle name was arrogance.  He took me to Smith and Wollensky.  Didn't get up from the bar when I walked in.  Ordered a $54 steak (according to him, his 4th one that week).  Proceeded to tell me he moved himself out of his parent's house because they 'sucked' and he wanted to go to a boarding school where the ivy leagues recruit, and if they ever came to visit, there was a hotel down the street.  Oh yeah, and he just won his 9th lawsuit.  Whoa.  Really buddy?  That is what you lead with?  

Meanwhile, my parents are having a fabulous time at dinner with my aunt, uncle, grandmother and friends across the street.  Why am I still sitting here??  This date cannot get worse.  I am so bored/annoyed by his vanity.  As he gets up to use the restroom, in his purple striped shirt with white and purple paisley details, I text my parents how bad the date is going.  Well, guess who comes to my rescue!?  I find it hilarious that 10 minutes later, this Italian looking brood comes walking through the door and up to my table.  He on the other hand, was not amused.  He shook my dad and uncle's hand, but not a smile or an introduction. 

I give him one last chance.  I invite him to come have a drink with my family and he immediately shoots down the idea.  Sorry buddy.  You fail.  Thanks for the $40 filet.  So I take my 'dressed up to the nines' butt over to the bar and enjoy some time laughing and loving the ridiculousness that is my life.  Seriously?  Whose parents crash a first date and end up being the best part of the night? 

They take off  and I am still wired from it all.  So I walk myself over to a bar and hangout with some friends, share my stories, have my ego blown a little and am reminded that there are still normal guys out there.  Not to mention, people who love me and support me.  I have joked before, I may not be lucky, but I am blessed.

After one too many drinks, some poor decisions and a very long night, It's 5:00AM and... I fall asleep in the arms of the man who broke my heart, but love more than words.

How do I get myself into these situations!?!  Shaking my head... Shaking my head.  New year, new start, same results.

Here we go again!

So as I sit on my kitchen counter, watching the door close on another chapter in my life, I can't help but want to vent out all the negativity.  But let's be honest, it would only cause more damage on an un-fixable situation.  Sometimes, as great as someone is, they may just not be the person you are meant to end up with.  The hardest part, is coming to that realization.  You learn a lot about yourself in times like this.  I learned that I have to keep moving forward, with laughter..... That being said, let me explain to you my day after a break up.  

As I lay in bed the next morning, crying in self-pity, I get a text from my mother telling me to meet them for lunch.  I tell her she's nuts and she immediately starts the mom talk.  "Oh you cannot just lay there and be depressed, you have to get up and do something.  No one is going to make this better but you... Blah Blah BLAH!"  Everything I didn't want to hear.  So what do I do?  Of course.  I get up and meet my parents for lunch.  Here we are, eating our subs (or crying into mine), we start laughing at the poor dad in his Honda mini van taking a picture of the gorgeous Ferrari parked next to it.  Poor dude. Four kids and every dream killed.  So we start looking around, trying to figure out who is driving the Ferrari.  Douche with his bluetooth in?  Well dressed older man and bitchy wife?  Nah, Michael Redd.  Ladies, he is gorgeous... oh and loves his kids and fiance getting into the brand new Rover.  Crap.  So much for that plan.  

I finish choking down my sandwich and tell my momma I didn't want to be alone.  So she rides with me back to their place and we lay on the couch and vent about life.  Then she leaves me for a double date!  Thanks Mom and Dad.  Jerks.  Glad you all have a life.  Luckily she left me the credit card to order my Christmas gifts.  It took all I had not to buy a killer pair of stilettos!  I turn off the sappy movie I'm watching and am about to just crash at 7:00 when my girlfriend asked if I want to go to a party.  Heck yeah!  I need booze and lots of it at this point.  So we get already and then she drops the bomb... Oh yeah, it's an engagement party.  Seriously?  Lovely.  The day after my break up, less than 24 hours.  Yes, let me go celebrate someone else's wonderful relationship.  I'm not bitter.  So I get all dressed up and am actually holding it together.  It was just nice to be around people, and vodka.  Oh but wait... it gets better... Who walks in??  The best man... A guy I went out on a date with a couple of years ago and to say the least, never spoke to again.  Hello Awkward!  At this point, I want to just cry but all I can do is laugh uncontrollably.  This is my life.  I have never met these people before in my life and the best man just happens to be a bad date.  Really?  I broke the ice and said hello and all was good, until all of the girls were standing around talking about working out, body shapes and what not, when the entire place goes silent as I blurt out my cup size... Thank god it was only about 20 degrees outside because I was about as red and hot as the inside of an oven.  Why are the gods so cruel?  Story of my life.  Never a dull moment.  Thank you for always making it interesting.

So what's next?  God only knows.  I think I need to work on me... but if the hot football player looking guy who checked me out at the Redbox tonight just happens to find my number, go ahead and use it.  I'll be free!  Until then... here we go again :)

Top 10 Reasons I'd Like a Man In My Life...

10. Cooking for 1 sucks.

9. If I get a dog, who will clean up after her?

8. I'd like to stop crying at sappy movies.

7. It's wedding season.

6. I need someone to drive the car on road trips.

5. Spooning.

4. Euchre? Kind of need a partner.

3. I could use an excuse to wear these cute shoes out.

2. My mattress is sinking in the middle.

1. I really don't want to end up on The Bachelor.

"Why does everything have to be about you?"

"Because I'm single!"

I'm starting to pity my co-works.  They go home to their happy families and then when they come into work, they have to hear all of the details from every bad date I've been on recently.  I haven't decided if they're laughing at me or with me.  They've joked about making a bulletin board to track my dating life.  If you ask me, I don't think they are kidding.

As for my friends, I think they are looking for eligible guys for me, more than I am.  I find it funny... the guys they point out are rarely my type.  I refuse to go on another blind date that a close friend hooks me up with.  I might just start questioning our friendship after the bad date.  Starting to wonder what they think of me?  Is that the kind of person you imagined me with?  I'm not high maintenance but I do have standards.  Number 1-Personality!  You have to have some kind of connection on a date, if not, I might as well go have dinner with my 80 something year old accounting professor.

I heard some crazy fact like 89% of people someone they had meet before the after of 21 or something like that.  That's a terrifying fact.  Pretty sure I have dated half of them and the rest are not husband material... Unless they have moved passed the wetting the bed stage and move into a strapping young man I have no seen since we were kids.  I think I'm hoping to be one of the 11% who have to meet their significant other after 21.

My attraction to unavailable men has got to stop.  

Until then, yes, it's all about me...

Because when I find the right guy... love, it will be all about you! 

A pair of shoes can change your life!

Just look at Cinderella!

My life hasn't had the fairytale happy ending just yet... but with every new pair of shoes I buy, I feel like I am a step closer to prince charming.  As long as he's not 5'2''.   I have a larger than life personality and already stand 5'8'', throw 5 inch heels on top of that and I am the life of the party.  PS. I am in a much better mood tonight.  I had my first second date in a long time.  It's amazing how much you can enjoy yourself when someone has a personality and manners.  I have also learned from my last blog... never post cranky. HAHA... I re-read my blog a few days later and noticed a bunch of mistakes and laughed about how pissy it came across.

So, If anyone of you know my dating history, you should know there are a few men who were going to make it in here eventually.  Nothing like 7 years of my life, on and off, being a lovesick puppy dog to a boy, or my Mr. Big, who never threw a girl a bone, figuratively speaking of course.  I understand timing is everything and we were young and reckless.  Not to mention we kept trading off the cities we lived in.  I would be lying if I said we didn't have our fun though.  I'm the kind of girl who goes all out on everything.  So when it comes to dating, I'm all in.... But there comes a point in time when you realize your heart strings just won't stretch anymore and eventually break.  

Why do we women feel the need to hang on to someone or something that only brings us down?   I don't think I ever received a Christmas or birthday gift and I never missed an occasion.  I may had been treated to one dinner the whole time we knew each other.  Oh yeah, let's talk about how special I felt at a wedding in Chicago when it was pouring down raining trying to get my luggage out of the back of the trunk (after a 6 hour drive riding bitch the whole way) while he stood there under the awning never once asking if I needed help.  How about the time he left me in the middle of the crowds on campus for the OSU v USC game.  He never once looked back to make sure I able to keep up and he didn't answer my text or calls?  I ended up making friends with a bunch of random people, which, well I know I have no problem doing.  However, by the time he decided he was ready to find me, he was 3 sheets to the wind and stumbling all over himself.  As I stand on the side of the road trying to hail a cab, he was cursing me and calling me a "whore ass bitch" for not finding a cab as he falls head first into the bushes.  Thanks to my amazing father, he came and picked me up in the middle of the arena district at 2 am.  Just my luck, my keys and belongings were in Big's car.  So pops drove us to German Village and he a nice night sleep in the back of his car and my dad drove me back to New Albany.  I suppose it was my fault... I was wearing Old Navy Flip Flops... I should have worn the red peep toe stilettos.  Total game changer.

So what's up with all this rambling... what's the point?  Entertainment, understanding, venting.  I don't know.  I've been toying around with posting random things I love that pertain to my love life or dating in general.  I live through music and art so I've been feeling crafty. I think this one suits just fine. Not to mention with Memorial Day weekend coming up, get ready to strut with your friends.  Go be young and careless.  Be safe!!!  Just don't be Mr. Big!  It's amazing what a little respect and common curtsy can get ya.  You're all beautiful... Just know that.