Dropping Glasses

Being single has it's perks, too.  Take for instance, I haven't had my last first kiss.  Is there anything sexier than a first kiss??  The anticipation after a long date, a night of drinking and flirting, someone you have had a crush on for a few years... when the times comes... the knees get weak, chills run down your spine and you drop your drink.  HAHA.  A kiss can take you from a dorky, nervous young girl to a sexy, confident woman in seconds.

No kiss is ever the same.  My first kiss had all the potential to be amazing, went to a movie, he was older, in the pouring down rain, dropping me off at the front door... but it was just weird and awkward considering I had no idea what I was doing.  From then out, they've been all over the board.  I've had the kind that make you back away slowly, trying not to offend the other person but it's just so bad.  Some are just fun an playful and always welcomed!  Ugh, the unwelcomed kind.  The 'holy crap did that just happen' kind.  There should be a documentary on this stuff.

You can tell a lot about a person, and what they are thinking, just by a kiss.  Do they grab your hand? Face? HAIR? Just don't attack us and if you do, add a little soft side in there somewhere like pushing their bangs out of their face or pulling up their sleeve that is sliding down.  And oh lord, what about the guys who find the need to poke you with their tongue, while others act like it's a wet rag.  Come on guys... Stop watching porn and watch a couple of chick flicks and your realize there is more than just trying to get down our throat.

Every now and then, you have that magic moment.  It is the kind of kiss that stays with you even after it is over.  It changes you.  I've only had the pleasure to experience a few of these kisses and the men have made monumental impact on who I am today.  I may despise a few of those guys and have completely different relationships with them now but I can still feel the first kiss.  It's the one good feeling you never want to let go of.

I'd gladly welcome my last first kiss, because that only means there will be plenty more new first to follow.  But for now... I better practice so I know it's perfect when the times comes!

Spring Break!!

So, it is the first day of Spring Break, aka: I get one night off from class, and it definitely isn't like it used to be.  Let's compare.

Today, I:

-Woke up at 5:30 not hungover and went to work by 7:00

-Drank a Diet Cherry Pepsi (and then a diet Mt. Dew)

-Listen to people lie and whine about their check being late when they are too lazy to go to the doctor to get a form filled out for their non-existent disability

-Ate a turkey sandwich for lunch (no mayo, no cheese, no chips)

-Browsed eBay for a cute new summer dress to wear to a wedding shower (another one bites the dust)

-Ordered the Tourist on the Redbox website because I wanted to be sure I had it (like everyone is rushing out to watch it)

-Spent $57.06 (dammit) on gas

-Paid bills

-Browsed Facebook to discover more pregnant and engaged friends

-Made a box of Stovetop Stuffing and a Fat Free Turkey Hot Dog
-Lost a contact - Blind as a bat

...Man, life is grand.

8 years ago, I:

-Went to bed at 5:30, still drunk as hell after arriving in Key West

-Woke up and poured some sort of flavored vodka and juice into a water bottle and headed to the beach

-Listen to people talk about their one night stands and blackouts from the night before

-Pitched in for a cheese pizza because it was greasy and all we could afford (or wanted to afford)

-Showed off my cute new bikini and cheerleading shorts

-Made our own version of the movie The Tourist, walking down Duvall Street, drinking and getting hit on by creepy old men

-Ran up new bills at the bar, then had the creepy old men pay for them

-Posted all of our shenanigans on Facebook (when my mom wasn't my Facebook friend)

-Ate the left over pizza on the floor and passed out to only do it again the next morning
-Woke up: Sunglasses on

My, how times have changed.

I look at my brother and sister and wish I could go back to the 'good ol days'...  My conversations have gone from, "What flavor jello shots are we making?" and "What was his name again?" to "The kids both have ear infections" and "Sorry, we couldn't make it, we couldn't find a babysitter."  I am officially stuck in the in-between.  I am still working on perfecting the perfect cocktails but yet cannot keep up like I used to when we go out.  By 10:30, the feet are killing and the yawns start uncontrollably.  I have found a new love in 5-hour Energy!

I miss the invincible days...  Showing our cleavage to get free drinks, front row at rock shows, car bombs till you puke on the shoes of a girl who slept with the guy you like (totally by accident).  We could go to bed at 4 am, head to classes from 8-1 (yes I went to class), nap for 5 hours and be ready to party like a rockstar all night.  Now I need 5 days just for a happy hour.  
 
I'm still learning every day to how adjust to the grown up life... I try to relive my glory days with 4 1/2 inch heels and the occasional girls night out.  I truly love my life and the people in it, but if you know any single guys, let me know... I need to catch up in that department and need to have something to bring to the table during morning talks at work!

Well, time to enjoy my spring break... and by that I mean, Ambien and sleep.

So where do I start?

Part of me wants to just spill it all right here.  But I have to keep ya coming back for more right?  Kind of like dating.  You don't want to give it all away on the first date.  You have to show your best self before all the dirty little secrets come out.  Maybe that's why I am single... should I show all my flaws over a glass of wine and something cheap on the menu so he doesn't think I am gold digger? My opening line on the next date should be, "Hi nice to meet you!  I'm indecisive, twirl my hair, like to house a half of a Papa John's pizza, have a really bad habit of forgetting to rinse out the sink after I brush my teeth and oh yeah, I want a family cause the clock is ticking."  Pretty sure he'd check out immediately.  Why is it so scary for men to hear that a woman wants a family?  It's not like I have herpes or anything.  I don't know.  I mean there is a pill for both of those issues I suppose.

So here we go.  From the beginning.

Growing up... I was to say the least, the outgoing, nerdy, athletic, flat chested dork who all the guys wanted to be friends with but never once made me feel pretty.  But then there was my first boyfriend.  He was not exactly my dream man, (you know, captain of the football team and a version of McDreamy), but damn I loved that kid.  It all started with the skater boy in geometry.  Standing outside by the bleachers, because of a bomb threat (how romantic), stumbling over his word, he asked me to prom.  Sure why not?  His blue eyes were kind of charming.  Well, after about 2 days of hanging out with him, thanks to his sister and mine, I was hooked.  Who knew there were charming guys out there besides the meat heads I was attracted to.   

We were inseparable.  I was going to marry this guy!  High school sweethearts, amazing family, I got him to wear Banana Republic, who could ask for more??  Well.  Me.  He was a year older and come to find out incredibly jealous.  When I went off to college, he could not handle it.  Every day it was an interrogation phone call.  "Where were you last night?  Who was there?  Did you kiss anyone?"  Same story.  Everyday.  Why on Earth did he always think the worst?  Apparently, he saw something in me that I had not realized until college.  Looking back, I understood his concern.  I grew about 5 inches, 3 cup sizes and a whole lot of confidence.  And hell if I didn't love the attention. 

Needless to say, we broke up.  I had this new found independence I was ready to explore and he wasn't ready to let me.  There was a lot of heartache there.  I think I always thought in the back of my mind we would get back together after I sowed my wild oats.  I still miss him.  Sadly, he was taken from us way too early.  Life is strange.  The what if's will break us if we dwell on them.  He is in a better place and I can only thank him for molding me into the strong woman I am today.  Thank you for helping me realize I am loved for who I am and to never settle for anything less than happy.

R.I.P. WRA 7-25-09 <3

A long time coming...

So here I sit, needing to studying for accounting, yet all I can think about are my failed relationships and awful dating history.  I like to think of myself as a catch, or so I like to reassure myself, so why do I have such trouble in the dating pool?  

Sure, all of my good friends are married with kids.  Sure they all have married friends. Sure all the single guys I know are mostly gay or incredibly immature/damaged.  But there are tons of fish in the sea, right???  Apparently, all of the fish left have been tainted by oil spills and pollution because the men I have met lately, are seriously insane.  From 35 year old's who try to drink like they are 20 year old college students to 23 year old meat heads who took one too many hits in football...  I have stories for days about the ridiculous dates I have been on over my dating career.  Some of you know them and always tell me I could write a book.  

Well, here I am.  Writing a blog.  Call me the next Carrie Bradshaw- High expectations, self-aware with quite the shopping problem.  What's the point of all this?  Comical insight to my inner thoughts and single life.  Turn away now... It's probably best.  Sarcasm runs thick and I'm not holding back.