Part of me wants to just spill it all right here. But I have to keep ya coming back for more right? Kind of like dating. You don't want to give it all away on the first date. You have to show your best self before all the dirty little secrets come out. Maybe that's why I am single... should I show all my flaws over a glass of wine and something cheap on the menu so he doesn't think I am gold digger? My opening line on the next date should be, "Hi nice to meet you! I'm indecisive, twirl my hair, like to house a half of a Papa John's pizza, have a really bad habit of forgetting to rinse out the sink after I brush my teeth and oh yeah, I want a family cause the clock is ticking." Pretty sure he'd check out immediately. Why is it so scary for men to hear that a woman wants a family? It's not like I have herpes or anything. I don't know. I mean there is a pill for both of those issues I suppose.
So here we go. From the beginning.
Growing up... I was to say the least, the outgoing, nerdy, athletic, flat chested dork who all the guys wanted to be friends with but never once made me feel pretty. But then there was my first boyfriend. He was not exactly my dream man, (you know, captain of the football team and a version of McDreamy), but damn I loved that kid. It all started with the skater boy in geometry. Standing outside by the bleachers, because of a bomb threat (how romantic), stumbling over his word, he asked me to prom. Sure why not? His blue eyes were kind of charming. Well, after about 2 days of hanging out with him, thanks to his sister and mine, I was hooked. Who knew there were charming guys out there besides the meat heads I was attracted to.
We were inseparable. I was going to marry this guy! High school sweethearts, amazing family, I got him to wear Banana Republic, who could ask for more?? Well. Me. He was a year older and come to find out incredibly jealous. When I went off to college, he could not handle it. Every day it was an interrogation phone call. "Where were you last night? Who was there? Did you kiss anyone?" Same story. Everyday. Why on Earth did he always think the worst? Apparently, he saw something in me that I had not realized until college. Looking back, I understood his concern. I grew about 5 inches, 3 cup sizes and a whole lot of confidence. And hell if I didn't love the attention.
Needless to say, we broke up. I had this new found independence I was ready to explore and he wasn't ready to let me. There was a lot of heartache there. I think I always thought in the back of my mind we would get back together after I sowed my wild oats. I still miss him. Sadly, he was taken from us way too early. Life is strange. The what if's will break us if we dwell on them. He is in a better place and I can only thank him for molding me into the strong woman I am today. Thank you for helping me realize I am loved for who I am and to never settle for anything less than happy.
R.I.P. WRA 7-25-09 <3
So here we go. From the beginning.
Growing up... I was to say the least, the outgoing, nerdy, athletic, flat chested dork who all the guys wanted to be friends with but never once made me feel pretty. But then there was my first boyfriend. He was not exactly my dream man, (you know, captain of the football team and a version of McDreamy), but damn I loved that kid. It all started with the skater boy in geometry. Standing outside by the bleachers, because of a bomb threat (how romantic), stumbling over his word, he asked me to prom. Sure why not? His blue eyes were kind of charming. Well, after about 2 days of hanging out with him, thanks to his sister and mine, I was hooked. Who knew there were charming guys out there besides the meat heads I was attracted to.
We were inseparable. I was going to marry this guy! High school sweethearts, amazing family, I got him to wear Banana Republic, who could ask for more?? Well. Me. He was a year older and come to find out incredibly jealous. When I went off to college, he could not handle it. Every day it was an interrogation phone call. "Where were you last night? Who was there? Did you kiss anyone?" Same story. Everyday. Why on Earth did he always think the worst? Apparently, he saw something in me that I had not realized until college. Looking back, I understood his concern. I grew about 5 inches, 3 cup sizes and a whole lot of confidence. And hell if I didn't love the attention.
Needless to say, we broke up. I had this new found independence I was ready to explore and he wasn't ready to let me. There was a lot of heartache there. I think I always thought in the back of my mind we would get back together after I sowed my wild oats. I still miss him. Sadly, he was taken from us way too early. Life is strange. The what if's will break us if we dwell on them. He is in a better place and I can only thank him for molding me into the strong woman I am today. Thank you for helping me realize I am loved for who I am and to never settle for anything less than happy.
R.I.P. WRA 7-25-09 <3
